Solo retreats: time away to focus on mental health and productivity
My experience going on retreats started when I was trying to motivate myself, and my colleagues, to finish our research in our doctoral programs. I planned these retreats as a way to connect and get away from our everyday settings - home, school, work - to write. They were driveable, inexpensive, and flexible to meet the needs of a group of graduate students with very few dollars and little spare time to work with. They were always productive, but they also had a social component, that while completely necessary to help us unwind and refocus, led to less work getting done than our overachiever minds had planned.
Then, I planned a solo retreat. I found a small inexpensive Airbnb, about an hour away from my house, and booked one night. I left early one morning and came back in the evening the next day. One night is not a lot, but financially and within the context of my family responsibilities, it was what I could manage. I will share some local retreat locations that I have come to love in a future post.
How I Plan Solo Retreats
I came up with a plan for what I wanted to get done while I was there. It wasn’t all research writing. Time for exploring nature and to relax with a book or show was important. I needed the break from the daily grind to refocus my energy and attention into my work. It was true self-care.
Then I did it again, but for two nights. I would schedule in hikes and time for finding local vegan spots, things to fill my cup in all the ways I needed. Leave me in a new place and I will always find the bookstore, cute coffee shop, and vegan friendly eatery.
Retreats for My Mental Health
Solo retreats had started as a way to complete academic work with a self-care lens, but they turned into so much more. Over the years, I have gone on a few solo retreats. One time, during a time of intense grief, my husband actually suggested that I go away for a couple of days. He could see that I was struggling more than I realized. He was right - I needed the time away with my own thoughts. I remember that time, because once I got to my retreat location and sat down on the bed - the emotions hit me hard almost immediately. I still got work done, but I also drank coffee outside on a porch with a view of a lake and allowed myself time in a quiet room to be sad and cry. It was truly restorative. It was still local and still small budget friendly. But it was exactly what I needed.
Retreat vs Vacation
When I think of a vacation, I think of sight seeing or spending time with family/friends. There might be an amusement park or a museum. Vacations are getaways; they are also intended to provide a break from the regular routine and can be restorative. But retreats are more purposeful and structured. Writing retreats have the goal of getting writing done (whatever kind of writing that may be), business retreats are focused on reflecting on business practices and making future plans, and even my solo retreat when I was grieving was focused on just that…allowing space for grief. It did not feel like a vacation. But it was restorative. My focus was on myself. I hesitate to use the term wellness retreat, because it is overused and there are a lot of people selling some version of this that just feels overdone. However, part of all retreats, in my opinion, are for personal wellness. It might not involve yoga, soundbaths, or silent meditation (not that there is anything wrong with those things!) but it is still for self-care.
Retreat Planning Tactics
I am a planner by nature; a true “Type A” eldest daughter. I love planning events and travel for other people. I also believe in things having a clear purpose. Without purpose we get lost in the minutia and forget about why we started to plan to begin with. If I were helping you plan a retreat here are some questions I would ask you:
What is the goal?
Getting a specific professional or personal task done
Self-care/Alone time/Mental Health
Reading
Experiencing a specific activity or location
What is the budget?
How long will this retreat be?
What are the location preferences?
Does it need to be driveable
Are you comfortable in house rental or would you prefer a hotel
Do you need a kitchen or anything specific in your space
Do you want certain activities nearby (hiking, swimming, skiing, etc)
If you are planning a solo retreat, then some of these questions are way easier to answer, because you only have your own preferences/needs to worry about. Many of the questions may not even apply. It is still helpful to have guidelines to organize your ideas and keep you on track.
I created a printable Retreat Planner. You can download it for free here.
Disclaimer: This is not medical or mental health advice. This post is meant for educational purposes only.