A Therapist's RESET Method for Restorative Travel
I keep preaching the importance of taking breaks, traveling, and going on retreats. I do truly believe that these things are critical to mental health. This past weekend I took a 24 hour trip…alone. It wasn’t a retreat. I was going to a book signing. But it was 2 hours away from my house and I turned it into a day trip for myself where I got to disconnect and explore. Originally, there was a chance my husband was going to join me on this trip - but that didn’t happen. And while it would have been lovely to spend some time together without the kids, being alone made me realize I needed solo time for a reset.. Here is my RESET Method for intentional travel.
The RESET Method
R – Reflect
I know this sounds so therapy-ish, and it is, but it is also important. On my car ride I was reflecting on how busy and overwhelmed I had been the past several weeks. I really allowed myself to sit with all the feelings and revel in the fact that for a little while I could do whatever I wanted without any obligation. Reflecting doesn’t have to be an arduous task. It is not something that you need to force. I actually think we are often working hard not to reflect so we don’t feel (Hi, I’m Kelly and I am a feelings professional). But thinking about the things that have most been on your mind, without being interrupted or bombarded with responsibilities, is very freeing.
Also, reflecting on what you want your time away to look like within the context of whatever has been going on in your life is a key part of intentional travel. If you have been busy and running around from place to place you might just want to get yourself to a location where you can sit and stay.
So what are we reflecting on?
How we have been feeling
How we want to feel
The goal of your travel experience (which might be to do nothing!)
At the end you reflect on what you have learned about yourself.
E – Explore
Exploration is the most fun part of traveling. Despite my introverted tendencies, exploration really excites me and fills my cup. Some people might see the word “explore” and get anxious or overwhelmed. Explore doesn’t mean you have to hike up a large mountain or go to a club by yourself. It is truly whatever you want it to be. Exploring is about gaining a new experience and taking in new surroundings. It can be hiking up Everest but it can also be perusing a bookstore or taking a yoga class in a new place. It can even be walking the beach alone and listening to the sounds of the ocean. What would you like to explore?
S – Slow Down
Slowing down is the hardest part for most of us. Practicing mindfulness, resting, and being present can be quite the undertaking. This is why I encourage people to be intentional about the travel decisions they make. Don’t overbook yourself or put too many things on your travel to-do list. Because then, it becomes work.
Don’t bring your work with you (unless it is a working retreat, of course), choose locations where you can enjoy the scenery (if that’s your thing), or places where you know you are more likely to actually relax and/or schedule an activity that brings you joy. Allow yourself to slow down and rest.
E – Expand
Expanding is about challenging what you believe about yourself and focusing on new perspectives. Perhaps you didn’t think you could travel alone but now that you are away, you realize that you CAN travel alone and your perspective about your own needs and abilities shifts. An example of this for me is flying. For my entire adult life, I had been terrified of flying (you can listen to my story about this here). But in the past couple of years, I have had to travel more for work. And that travel required flying. At some point, I realized that I had always wanted to be someone who traveled, I like traveling alone, and if I want to see things I will have to fly. So I began the work of managing my flight anxiety and expanded my perspective on what I was capable of doing on my own.
T – Take It Home
Here is the hardest part of the RESET Method…incorporating what you have learned about yourself into your everyday life. When you were reflecting, exploring, and taking it all in, what did you learn about yourself? How can you make it part of your everyday life? Did you decide there was a positive habit you wanted to incorporate into your life, or maybe something you don’t want to do anymore?
Whether you're planning a weekend getaway, a family vacation, or your first solo adventure, remember that travel doesn't have to be packed with activities to be meaningful. Sometimes the most restorative trips are the ones that give us permission to simply notice ourselves again.
I'd love to hear from you. Which step of the RESET Method comes most naturally to you…and which one do you need to practice more?
If you're looking for more therapist-informed travel resources, stay tuned for my upcoming collection of travel psychology articles and workbooks designed to help women travel with greater intention, confidence, and self-awareness.